While everyone was marveling at all Jesus did, he said to his disciples, “Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you: The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men.” But they did not understand what this meant. It was hidden from them, so that they did not grasp it, and they were afraid to ask him about it.
When my best friend got melanoma, she had radiation. She told me she stopped taking the treatments and was getting weaker. I was afraid to ask questions and knew in my heart what was happening. When my husband and I visited her, the hospice nurse was there. I was afraid to ask how long – I was hoping for a month. I texted her for three days afterward without an answer. She passed the next week. We grasp our friends, and it’s hard to let go.
The apostles didn’t want to let go of Jesus either. Jesus had just told them of his impending death using the verbs suffer, rejected, killed, and raised. They heard him but didn’t process it and were afraid to ask. Everyone’s going to die some time, right? But Jesus was still young and the salvation of Israel from Roman occupation was their immediate concern. If Jesus had talked about that it would’ve perked their ears. But, “raised from the dead” and “delivered into the hands of men” were foreign terms, and God would keep their meaning hidden because now wasn’t the time to discuss it. But they missed Jesus’ desire to talk about his impending death with close friends.
Father God, Help me listen carefully to the shepherds and sheep you’ve given me, so I don’t miss their needs. Let me read their pain so, unlike Jesus, they don’t have to let a stranger carry their cross. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
When my friend Cindy died, I felt so blindsided. We had good communication but she wasn’t telling me the truth about her condition. I don’t believe she intentionally lied to me. I believe what she told me was her hopes, instead of reality. Back then, we relied on letters to communicate and some long distance phone calls. It was nothing at all like now with cell phones. I talked to her but I also wrote letters. If cell phones were part of the world back then, I don’t believe it would have changed a thing. She was determined to live and did not really face head on her impending death. I got a letter from her mom, who was at her bedside. She told me the truth. I called right away but it was too late. She was still alive but drugged into a sleep to protect her from the pain. I felt like such a bad friend. We were so close and I lost my moment to tell her how much I loved her one last time. I was furious with her for not being honest with me. I couldn’t go to her funeral. She died in NYC but her body went to St. Louis for burial. I was home alone with a small child who could not make such a long car trip. I always felt like I made the wrong decision. I had to pray a lot about it. I felt like my anger with her played into the decision not to go to her funeral. Instead of listening to the people who loved me and were telling me I could work it out and go, I just shut it all down. I could have found a way to be there and I felt so guilty. I didn’t listen carefully, I didn’t listen to her families needs. I felt like it was a total fail on my part.
We’re human and make mistakes. Rebecca and Sam have a friend, Brandon, from Mount Dora. He had dinner with us last Thanksgiving. His mom died while we were living in Mt. Dora. She was an alcoholic and a co-worker of mine at the time. She was a PTA. I was angry about the situation because she never came to work until 11 a.m. and did a lousy job with her treatments, and I should’ve taken Sam and Rebecca to her funeral and have been there for Brandon. But I didn’t. It was a definite mistake, and I have no one to blame but myself. We learn from our mistakes. I’ve forgiven myself as you probably have forgiven yourself. You probably weren’t mad at Cindy but at the fact that she died. Anger is part of the grieving process. I think of Jesus, though. No one was with him during the journey from the jail to Gethsemane. When he collapsed, a stranger carried his cross. Of His Twelve only John was with him when he died. Both Mary’s were there. We’re human as the disciples were and each had there reasons for not being with him. He really only needed God to be with him. God can fulfill all our needs.
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!
Elouise, thanks so much for your encouragement. I post 5-7 times a week, so I hope you return. I prayed for you and your family. Blessings, Jody